It's hard to believe that spring is already here when winters are known to extend well into April here in Eastern Canada. The weather couldn't be more beautiful, yet I'm stuck in the office. And what's worse, by the time Saturday comes, it usually starts raining and your weekend activities are ruined. People are cursed that way. But I'm not complaining. After all, better to walk in spring rain than in slushy snow in freezing cold.
What I am going to complain about is lack of sleep due to Daylight Savings Time. Obviously there is nothing I can do about it, other than express negativity. However, even going to bed at 9 doesn't seem to fix my insomnia symptoms so I ask you this, what do you do when you can't seem to get enough sleep? Wouldn't it be nice if we could all get as much sleep as we needed, then get up to go to work when we're ready and not when we're sleep walking? Or reduce our work week to 35 hours like in France? It's not too much to ask but I realize it's wishful thinking. The government will always find excuses to stay competitive in the global economy. But has anyone stopped to ask, what is this chronic exhaustion doing to our population? Is it too far fetched to assume we are reliving slavery in modern form and have lost much of our freedom? Is anyone doing any research on this, raising awareness, and bringing it up to Prime Minister's attention? Nobody probably has time because they are overworked.
I leave you with this interesting article for further pondering: http://users.ipfw.edu/ruflethe/american.html.
Thursday, March 18, 2010
Sunday, February 14, 2010
New Beginnings
The title should give away the clue as to why I haven't been as active on my blog as I would have liked to. As I'm writing this, I can feel my 6-inch baby move inside me. It has only begun moving about a week ago and does not move very often but every little kick is so precious. As I anticipate to feel the life of my baby more often and with greater force with each passing day, I can't help but think how wondrous women's bodies are. To feel life inside oneself and to give life to another human being - is there anything more magical and powerful than that? It is only now that the pregnancy feels like a reality, with my tummy sticking out and growing bigger every day. The transformation is both unusual and amazing. What's more, the first 4 months seemed to have flown by like the wind. I can't believe I'm already half way to giving birth! Everyone around me is excited for the Big Day which is supposed to fall on July 12th. I hope to find out next week whether it will be a boy or a girl. Whatever the sex of the baby, it will be a miracle when it's finally born. I am going to be a mom!
Wednesday, September 9, 2009
House Hunting
A close friend once told me that the two most stressful things in life are getting married and finding a house. Well, the first one is already behind me. I didn't have to worry about planning a wedding because I married over a third party. Long story. But I never imagined that finding my first home would prove such a trying task in every sense possible - emotionally, mentally, physically. Four months have passed searching for the "perfect home" and we are still nowhere near to finalizing this process. What once began as an exciting task now feels dreadful. Are we being too picky? Stuck on details and not looking at the big picture? Looking in the wrong areas? Underestimating the competition? Underestimating the market?
January, February, and March were months when buying anything in Toronto seemed possible. The economy was at a standstill and naturally nobody dared to sell. Those who had to sell were losing out. We started looking at properties in May: at condos, townhouses, houses. The market slowly picked up in June and July and now it is an unwritten rule that you have to bid at least 10% higher of the asking price in order to get the home you want. 50 showings and 5 bids later, not only did we lose out on affordable properties but we also lost a very good interest rate.
Still, we have hope that our perfect home is somewhere waiting. We won't give up until we find a place where we can raise a family, where our kids will make the first steps, and where we can make great memories. Some words of advice for other first-time buyers that I wish I knew before I let myself into this adventure:
1) There is no such thing as a perfect home. All homes will require renovation to suit your taste and comfort. Expect to invest money.
2) Only buy a condo if that's the lifestyle you enjoy. Otherwise, half of your money will be spent on maintenance.
3) Bid smart. Don't underestimate the competition. If you lose, there is a better home waiting for you.
January, February, and March were months when buying anything in Toronto seemed possible. The economy was at a standstill and naturally nobody dared to sell. Those who had to sell were losing out. We started looking at properties in May: at condos, townhouses, houses. The market slowly picked up in June and July and now it is an unwritten rule that you have to bid at least 10% higher of the asking price in order to get the home you want. 50 showings and 5 bids later, not only did we lose out on affordable properties but we also lost a very good interest rate.
Still, we have hope that our perfect home is somewhere waiting. We won't give up until we find a place where we can raise a family, where our kids will make the first steps, and where we can make great memories. Some words of advice for other first-time buyers that I wish I knew before I let myself into this adventure:
1) There is no such thing as a perfect home. All homes will require renovation to suit your taste and comfort. Expect to invest money.
2) Only buy a condo if that's the lifestyle you enjoy. Otherwise, half of your money will be spent on maintenance.
3) Bid smart. Don't underestimate the competition. If you lose, there is a better home waiting for you.
Monday, February 16, 2009
Emotional Intelligence
I have often found myself worrying about others, worrying about what others might say or think about me, beating my head over the treacherous past, and in general being more pessimistic than optimistic. I am sure a lot of our reactions are genetic, some probably picked up through childhood, and some learned through experiences. Emotional Intelligence (EI) is a term first coined by Daniel Goleman in 1994 pertaining to the ability of people to handle various emotions without destructive consequences. Emotional Quotient (EQ) was introduced as a result to measure this ability. Even though I like to believe I am open minded and pride myself on good judgment (it’s the Libra in me), sometimes I can’t help but think I’m a victim of emotion. Needless to say, emotions have always been a part of human race and controlling them has always been difficult. How do we stay calm when we are being manipulated, dealing with arrogant and ignorant individuals, being accused wrongly? How do we avoid or minimize sadness when someone in the family is sick, when a loved one leaves, when nothing seems to go right? Is it healthy to control emotions? Where should we draw the line?
From my experience it is difficult, if not impossible, to control negative emotions 100% of the time. There are times when I explode and like a bomb ruin everything in my path. Other times I am able to think clearly and reason without falling into conflict. Emotional Intelligence – Why It Can Matter More Than IQ by Daniel Goleman opened my eyes on what it means to be emotionally intelligent and why it matters. He writes, “There is perhaps no psychological skill more fundamental than resisting impulse. It is the root of all emotional self-control, since all emotions, by their very nature, lead to one or another impulse to act.” Some of the “cooling down” techniques suggested by the author, such as counting to 10 (1001, 1002… 1010) before blurting out the thoughts and distracting ourselves, are excellent tools for warding off negative emotions. Also, putting ourselves in another person’s shoes may help put things in perspective, awake empathy and understanding, and ultimately lead to an open discussion.
Now, if everyone were to know and practice these techniques, we would live in an ideal world. Many people don’t make the effort to dissuade conflict and there could be just as many reasons for that. They are either very stubborn or simply do not care. I can understand the not caring point when dealing with individuals outside one’s personal life (i.e. government institutions, ministries, companies, etc.) but believe that diplomacy should still be used when dealing with them. What I don’t understand, however, is when a friend or a loved one doesn’t make the effort to bridge the gap for fear of getting their pride hurt. Is it really that difficult to say, “I am sorry”, “Let’s start over”, or “Tell me why you feel that way”?
Another point I want to make regarding unconditional relationships is this: the road is two-way. In other words, both individuals need to pull the weight to make things work. If one doesn’t understand, it is the duty of the other to make him or her understand for the good of both. Having said this, it shouldn’t always be one person admitting the wrong-doings and apologizing. In a conflict, both parties are hurt, whether they show it or not. Acknowledging each other’s feelings, understanding why they think a certain way, and discussing the root cause of a problem to come to a mutual solution, are foundations for a healthy relationship.
So next time you’re about to drill and curse someone – STOP! Use emotional intelligence to knock sense into them. Everyone is capable of this. And remember, practice makes perfect.
From my experience it is difficult, if not impossible, to control negative emotions 100% of the time. There are times when I explode and like a bomb ruin everything in my path. Other times I am able to think clearly and reason without falling into conflict. Emotional Intelligence – Why It Can Matter More Than IQ by Daniel Goleman opened my eyes on what it means to be emotionally intelligent and why it matters. He writes, “There is perhaps no psychological skill more fundamental than resisting impulse. It is the root of all emotional self-control, since all emotions, by their very nature, lead to one or another impulse to act.” Some of the “cooling down” techniques suggested by the author, such as counting to 10 (1001, 1002… 1010) before blurting out the thoughts and distracting ourselves, are excellent tools for warding off negative emotions. Also, putting ourselves in another person’s shoes may help put things in perspective, awake empathy and understanding, and ultimately lead to an open discussion.
Now, if everyone were to know and practice these techniques, we would live in an ideal world. Many people don’t make the effort to dissuade conflict and there could be just as many reasons for that. They are either very stubborn or simply do not care. I can understand the not caring point when dealing with individuals outside one’s personal life (i.e. government institutions, ministries, companies, etc.) but believe that diplomacy should still be used when dealing with them. What I don’t understand, however, is when a friend or a loved one doesn’t make the effort to bridge the gap for fear of getting their pride hurt. Is it really that difficult to say, “I am sorry”, “Let’s start over”, or “Tell me why you feel that way”?
Another point I want to make regarding unconditional relationships is this: the road is two-way. In other words, both individuals need to pull the weight to make things work. If one doesn’t understand, it is the duty of the other to make him or her understand for the good of both. Having said this, it shouldn’t always be one person admitting the wrong-doings and apologizing. In a conflict, both parties are hurt, whether they show it or not. Acknowledging each other’s feelings, understanding why they think a certain way, and discussing the root cause of a problem to come to a mutual solution, are foundations for a healthy relationship.
So next time you’re about to drill and curse someone – STOP! Use emotional intelligence to knock sense into them. Everyone is capable of this. And remember, practice makes perfect.
Monday, February 2, 2009
Some Reflection
A long time has passed since my last post. So much has happened in the last 6 months, leading me to neglect some of the projects I enjoy doing. I've grown wiser, gained new insights, and established new goals.
Lately I've been directing my energy towards feeling good - inside and out. As a Libra, I tend to balance things, trying to make perfect sense out of everything. I continuously look for good in every bad that exists or breathes and subconsciously form attachments, whether I intend to or not. Caring unconditionally for others has caused me more sorrow than happiness. It brings with itself much worry, speculation, judgment, tension - all things unnecessary. Over time I have become more cautious of potential pain and built a wall for protection. This invisible wall doesn't mean I block everything and everyone out of my life, on the contrary, it represents my intention to spend more time attending to my own needs first. Let's face it -- life is short, too short. Sooner or later, we are going to regret not achieving some things or not spending enough quality time with the people we love. I don't want to have any more regrets. There are new priorities now.
Being 28, almost 29, and pushing on 30, it is time I made some key decisions about where I want my life to take me. A recent trip to Serbia opened my eyes in the family arena. Spending time with my brother-in-law's baby has awakened a motherly instinct in me and reminded me how much love I still have to give. I can't wait to feel my own baby's soft skin, the curled fingers wrapped around my own, the smell so distinct that only babies have, and to give life! I cannot imagine anything more exciting in life than that.
It is time for the party persona to shy away from stage and give light to a more responsible individual. As one chapter ends, a new one begins...
"You're alive. Do something. The directive in life, the moral imperative was so uncomplicated. It could be expressed in single words, not complete sentences. It sounded like this: Look. Listen. Choose. Act."
- Barbara Hall, A Summons to New Orleans, 2000
Lately I've been directing my energy towards feeling good - inside and out. As a Libra, I tend to balance things, trying to make perfect sense out of everything. I continuously look for good in every bad that exists or breathes and subconsciously form attachments, whether I intend to or not. Caring unconditionally for others has caused me more sorrow than happiness. It brings with itself much worry, speculation, judgment, tension - all things unnecessary. Over time I have become more cautious of potential pain and built a wall for protection. This invisible wall doesn't mean I block everything and everyone out of my life, on the contrary, it represents my intention to spend more time attending to my own needs first. Let's face it -- life is short, too short. Sooner or later, we are going to regret not achieving some things or not spending enough quality time with the people we love. I don't want to have any more regrets. There are new priorities now.
Being 28, almost 29, and pushing on 30, it is time I made some key decisions about where I want my life to take me. A recent trip to Serbia opened my eyes in the family arena. Spending time with my brother-in-law's baby has awakened a motherly instinct in me and reminded me how much love I still have to give. I can't wait to feel my own baby's soft skin, the curled fingers wrapped around my own, the smell so distinct that only babies have, and to give life! I cannot imagine anything more exciting in life than that.
It is time for the party persona to shy away from stage and give light to a more responsible individual. As one chapter ends, a new one begins...
"You're alive. Do something. The directive in life, the moral imperative was so uncomplicated. It could be expressed in single words, not complete sentences. It sounded like this: Look. Listen. Choose. Act."
- Barbara Hall, A Summons to New Orleans, 2000
Wednesday, July 9, 2008
The Power of Technology
Today I was reunited with friends whom I haven't seen in 15 years. I found them on Facebook, the controversial social networking site. With the help of this web site, I was allowed a glimpse in my past, my childhood, and was provided with endless opportunities. There I sat, writing ecstatically, holding my breath, letting the sweet emotions overcome me completely. The people that meant so much reappeared like they were never gone. I was given another chance to cherish their friendship. It is another one of those surprises that life prepares for you. Without the invention of a website like Facebook, I would never have had the opportunity to talk to my childhood friends again. My heart is full today. And I'm smiling.
Friday, April 18, 2008
Spring Is Here
What a beautiful morning I woke up to today! The sun rays were piercing through the windows of my bedroom and I felt a pleasant warmth brush my cheek. I stretched and slowly made my way out of the bed. It is mornings like this that I enjoy savouring and taking the time to fully absorb the peace and quietness that I lack so often. It is on days like this that I realize how lucky I am to be alive and to be able to use all my senses to experience life. It is on days like this that I simply want to sit on top of a hill and look down on Earth's magical world, smell the freshly cut grass, and watch life's play come alive. Sadly, it was time to dress up and continue my journey to a less-than-perfect place called work.
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